she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
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Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
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That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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