bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize