also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize