is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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