Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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