I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize