he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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