Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
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Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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