i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize