so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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