I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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