It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I fill condoms, not promises.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize