My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Acid is not a monday night drug
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize