idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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