As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize