I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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