textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize