he was CRYING into my vagina
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
is it fun? or sober?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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