I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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