now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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