Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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