Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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