Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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