she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's blow job season.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize