She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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