Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize