Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
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I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
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omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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