It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I pour the whiskey from now on
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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