Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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