it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize