Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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