hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize