Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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