somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
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We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
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I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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