I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize