No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
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he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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