She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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