The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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