I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
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I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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