Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize