her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
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WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
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maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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