That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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