the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize