i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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