didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I didn't shave. On purpose
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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