Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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