Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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