she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
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i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
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Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we're so committed to being not committed
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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