I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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