I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
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I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
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If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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